Blah

I'm feeling very blah today. I'm so tired. My kids are driving me bleeping nuts. I can't wait for school to start! I hate feeling like this. I'm not enjoying them at all right now. It makes me very sad to feel this way. I just wish they would stop fighting so much. Thank goodness they are getting along at the moment. They are outside on the slip-n-slide. We'll see how long that lasts.

I have to get out of this funk. I want to have fun with my kids again. I don't want them to look back on their childhood and remember me as a crotchety old hag who was always yelling and rolling her eyes. What am I doing wrong?

The only time Jonah and I get along is when we are reading "Harry Potter." The minute I stop reading, we start fighting. He is constantly arguing with me and bossing Sadie around or tormenting her. This causes Sadie to scream at the top of her lungs which not only grates on my nerves but wakes up the baby. Then I am mad at all three of them.

I want to be a fun mommy. A good mommy. I don't want to yell. I love my kids, but some days I just want to run away and today is one of those days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

It's 1:30 and I'm still in my PJ's!

Today has been a typical day so far – although I wasn't awoken by a shrill scream this morning as I have been for the past week. That was a pleasant surprise! Jonah and Sadie actually got along very well this morning while Violet and I slept in. Of course the house was a total disaster area when I got up, but at least I got some much needed sleep.

Right now, Violet is sleeping and the kids are playing outside – with their umbrellas on a sunny, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky day, but hey, at least they're outside!

Jonah is taking a break from the "book" he is writing called "The Five Dragons." He's been working on it all morning. Maybe it will be a best seller and it will make us rich. Oprah, are you out there???

So yesterday a funny thing happened. I was sitting on the couch nursing Violet. Sadie came up and said, "Mama, can I have some "Nums?" (It use to be "nummy" but I guess now that she is a big girl of four, she's too cool to call it nummy. I told her she was too big for "nums" and that it was for Violet now. "Please, Mommy. Pretty please. Just a little bit? Just this much (holding her fingers together)? I'll take that one (pointing to the unoccupied breast)! It's so good." It was hilarious. She was so sweet and sincere but teasing at the same time. In the end, she was distracted by something else and let it go. Jonah, however, was upset that he couldn't remember what it tastes like and began to ask me if he could have some. There isn't enough money in the world for the therapy that would take to undo, for me and him! ;-)

That's all for now. It's too quiet out there. I must go check to make sure they haven't run away! Nevermind, here comes one now...and here comes the other...