Warning: You may never look at blueberries the same after reading this!

This afternoon, Violet was playing on the floor with some of Jonah and Sadie's toys. I was sitting in the chair flipping through a magazine. I looked up and said, "What is all over Violet's leg?" She was covered in what appeared to be chocolate. I noticed a clump of something next to her. I was getting ready to yell at the kids for leaving food on the floor (even though I knew they didn't have chocolate today) when Jonah walked over to her and ran away screaming, "OOH. IT'S POOP!!!"

I went over to get a closer look, and sure enough, it was poop. It was not only all over her legs, but her arms, hands, feet, onesie, floor and the kids' toys! I picked her up and there were a few of the cards that she had been playing with poop-glued to her leg. It was awful! I asked Jonah to run a bath. While he did that, I did my best to get as much of it off of her as possible. It was a 10+ wipe situation. And the smell...oh my goodness!

The diaper was literally completely filled and oozing out all over. It was black and gooey with chunks of something that looked like raisins (which she has never had). After I carefully got her out of the onesie without depositing any more poop on her, I carried her to the bathtub and began the HazMat removal process. As I was doing so, I wondered out loud what on earth she could have eaten to have caused such an explosion and why it was so black. Jonah said, "Chocolate?" No. "Fig Newtons?" No. "Yogurt?" Definitely not. "Blueberries?" Of course!!! She ate a ton of blueberries yesterday! If I had known blueberries would cause this kind of reaction, she wouldn't have been constipated for the last 6 months! I have found a cure!

After getting her cleaned up, I went into the living room to survey the damage. It was worse than I thought! There was black/blue poop everywhere. Big pieces, little pieces, smeared pieces, poop hand prints, toys covered in poop, you name it. (Believe me, the picture does not even begin to do this situation justice)! I know you're thinking, good grief woman, how long was this child sitting in her own feces? But I swear, I had just put her down on the floor not 5 minutes before and she was completely poop-free.

Jonah and I built a fence around the 'accident scene' with dining room chairs so that I could figure out how to remove it. I called my mom and she did a search and came up with vinegar and boiling water. Needless to say, my house no longer smells like a hazardous waste dump, but it does smell like vinegar! I'm not sure which is worse – but at least it worked.

The funniest part was when the kids tried to help me clean up. Jonah came in wearing a snorkel and giant clothes-pin on his nose and Sadie was wearing goggles!

Oh, the joy of motherhood!